Are You a Snooze? Tips for a Great Conversation

Ever heard of the phrase time flies when you are having fun? It may not always be so with friends; an acquaintance, good writing or a well scripted film can be equally engaging. So what is it that draws your attention towards such hypnotism that holds on to one’s attention leaving no room for distraction to seep through? The answer could be varying for many, but almost always a good story teller achieves all that.

So what are the qualities a good conversationalist possesses? First and foremost what needs to be understood is that listening is more important than talking.

“I wish I could sell my tongue for a thousand ears” –Rumi

By becoming a good listener you already have the attention of the person being engaged in the conversation. They begin to relax and open up which is the basic ground work for a meaningful and layered conversation to follow. People tend to delve into their deeper self and bring about an introspective narrative, adding richness with their subtle nuances. So let people speak. Do not be eager to hog away their spotlight. Put your ego on hold, know your timings. Often realizing when and where to contribute can make you a great intelligent listener and that alone is one of the finest qualities a conversationalist can ever develop.

When it is your time to speak, make sure you speak clearly and are audible. Now that doesn't mean that your  are overwhelmingly assertive and hammering each word onto the listener, that is as straining as reading each word in capital letters with a hard and imposing font set in bold. A clear, meaningful expressive and soft voice can draw one in just the same.

Remember that it may not always be what you have to say that matters at times just the way you say things can be enough. A little drama never did much damage. Avoid a mundane, monotonous drone and speak with a natural expressive earnestness. Even though if you may not have the best story at hand or the most interesting content to share, but your spontaneity or animated speech can be equally fascinating.

Learn to captivate the audience by relating and humanizing your thoughts. It is easier to place your-self in an impressive position by placing oneself on a higher moral ground but such a person although be rational and politically correct may not always keep the good mood going. Try not to be right all the time. The brain being the strongest muscle may hold enough logic but at times it should give some allowance to the heart. Tell a story from your heart and let it steer a talk through its own personality.

When you meet someone new, try to avoid negative topics. Do not be a bore by whining, we all are fighting battles up at our own front. Nobody wants to hear more problems. Your boss, your job and your annoying family issues are best if they are solved at your own sweet time. Do not be a mood spoiler by nagging or complaining about life being unfair, even if it has done you no good, tough. Learn to deal with it.

Last but not the least above everything do not be boring. Avoid tech terms when talking to someone who doesn't understand the technicality of your field. Let go off a subject when it begins to lose the interest of the person being spoken to.

All in all, a little pause adds to the listener’s anticipation. Add a bit of color, illustrate your talks with interesting analogies and cast a spell as you go along. Happy chatting!