7 Things they didn’t teach me in school

We all get basic education involving lessons that drill us with ethics and logic. However how many of us feel that certain important lessons are improvised through living and experience? Here are some of the essential rules, facts and a few heads up to be adept with the unpredictable twists and turns life brings our way.

1.Improvise Adapt Learn:

Improvise, adapt and learn. Life brings constant changes, some which you have to accept and live with. This involves your cumulative IQ, how you deal with these changes show your skills to stay in control and have life steered your way. You may not control everything, but you can turn them to your benefit so that things don’t affect you negatively.

2.Adding Value to you:

If you want to be successful, make sure that you add value to yourself. Do not run after success, when you are equipped with valuable proficiency, success will come to you.

3.What you seek for is seeking you:

They say be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it. I hear my niece sing this song often and although the source maybe from a kid show but it holds a deeper meaning when you ponder over it. Anything you want does come your way only if you are driven enough to get there through the right amount of dedication and perseverance. So take a moment, sit with a note pad and jot down three things which hold the deepest meaning to you.

4.Life is a boomerang:

In life you get what you put into. If you want affection, respect and love, give the same. If you want wealth add value to yourself, doing these basic things will help you realize how simple things are.

5.Stay True to Yourself:

Stay true to yourself-By doing that you would have high chances to stay focused to your goals, wishes and direction in life. Learn and understand that you cannot please everybody. Listen to your heart, it may be irrational and childlike but this feeling navigates you directly to your ultimate happiness. Listen to it.

6.You pick up from your environment:

It is important to have positive influences, keep learning from everyone. If your domestic help is organized learn how it maintains it. If your colleagues are knowledgeable, pick up that quality as that too is great power. If the kids around are creative and always up for a challenge make a mental note about it. You learn the most from your immediate surrounding make sure you are surrounded by people who can help you steer the right direction towards your goal. Stay inspired!

7.Value love and respect yourself:

One of the main lessons to learn is how you develop the right relation with yourself. Outside forces may not be in agreement with you even though you know you are right. Stick to what is true and keep at it. It really doesn't matter what opinion others form about you. How you feel about yourself is most important. Be gentle to yourself and do justice to your abilities. Self contentment trumps everything.

Mood swings? Men Get Them Too!

I can’t think of a single person who is not affected by their moods. At times it may be difficult to form an opinion about an individual on their ever fluctuating doldrums. They could disregard a serious mess up and may lose their cool over a minute glitch. Confused?  Yes, we have all been there.

They normally say it is the women who are medically reasoned to have the most erratic mood swings which come and go irrespective of how good or bad their environment is around them. They could be going through their monthly period more popularly termed as PMS (Post menstrual symptoms) or suffering from hormonal imbalance or some may receive other derisively tailored attacks on being called frustrated or uptight.

At times, such reasons are exploited and misused when women stand up for their rights or hold their ground in the name of principles and are labeled sour or bitter. Is it fair to do so? Also are such mood swings limited with women alone? Do men not get cranky or furious once put under pressure or act irresponsibly when under fed or swept in the whirlwind of egoistic rage?

Medically such mood swings are explained with a chemical presence and its levels which trigger certain moods of excitement, euphoria, depression and states of sedation and tranquility. There are times when such states get so irregular that it needs the attention of a medical doctor. When situations seem out of control and begin to have a serious and damaging impact on the quality of one’s life, then it is best to seek help.

Not all mood swings require professional help; some can be treated with a balanced diet, ample sleep, staying hydrated and with herbal supplements. The packaged food and certain consumer items have stimulants which can cause a rift in our moods remarkably. Thus nourishment should be primarily sourced from natural and organic food.

And finally to be able to assess a situation, one can understand by reflecting upon their actions if a certain reaction was demanded at a particular point is a blessing that can avoid disputes, misunderstandings and from situations getting blown out or proportion. Thus do not be led by your moods and live life freely and enjoy it to it’s fullest!

Sometimes, mood swings can be so serious they require the attention of a medical doctor. When your mood swings feel disappropriate to the situation or seem completely out of control, when they have a serious impact upon the quality of the life you are able to enjoy, then perhaps a trained psychiatrist or psychologist can handle the situation best. Sometimes, prescribed medication may be necessary.

 

  

Secrets of healthy living from the world over

We often wonder how certain people, like the French for instance, maintain a petite body, the Japanese sport flawless skin and often live for over a hundred years and how the Scandinavian have such low obesity rates? Well wonder no more as we expose the secrets of their healthy living.

It is no myth that French women have a trim body despite their consumption of butter and cream. We would like to think such women do not exist or even if they do, they starve themselves to death, but the fact is that the French ladies do not compromise on quality eating as well. So how do they maintain that unearthly size and still live it up with glorious dining. The answer can be explained in two short words: Portion Control. Small amount of fresh quality food layered with flavor and lingering over courses of controlled portions that allow them to savor each bite.

They also believe in walking instead of a hard workout at the gym. Due to the old architecture, many buildings don’t have the elevators which results in a lot of climbing of the stairs as well. The high gas rates also motivates the French to walk more than ride in a car which all results in lower incidence of heart diseases and obesity.

Scandinavians: The north Europeans are known to have low obesity rates because their ideology is to eat farm fresh. The Nordic way of life indulges in gardening your own vegetables and consuming omega 3 rich food that lowers the depression rate despite the scarcity of sunlight. They believe in berry picking, eating fresh vegetables and consuming whole grains for a diet that not only nourishes their body with nature’s best, but through farming out at their own backyard they also connected with their food which is their best exercise.  

Japanese: An island in Japan named the Okinawa hold the highest concentrations of Centenarians (People aged 100 or over).They are known to have the lowest rate of dementia, cancer and heart diseases. The secret is their practice of hara hachi bu or eating till 80% full. (Incidently, this is what has been taught to the Muslims by Prophet Muhammad PBUH: to stop eating when three quarters full).

Their lifestyle includes a deep connection with their family and community, where they dine together, pray and meditate. Their diet includes fruit, rice, cruciferous & sea vegetables, omega 3 rich fatty food. They have strong social support systems where a sense of connection with their community and sense of belonging lowers their stress and diseases which are related to stress increasing their health, frame of mind and longevity.

Adopt the best from those who do right and practice a healthy living which supports an ideal you!

Are you living your life or someone else's?

Going through a peter pan syndrome, I refuse to grow up. Seeing how dull, somber and robotic my elders looked to me as a child I made that pact with myself at a fairly young age. That pact has, since then, faced many yearly amendments.

Over the years with every bit of alteration made to my vow in the name of maturing, I find myself less vibrant, more dissatisfied and increasingly restrained. Was that a matter of sobering up or simply conforming to the will of others?

Certain social expectations not just limited to the female gender alone, only seem pointless, a major inconvenience and simply ridiculous!

Following what is already chalked out for us, we grow increasingly restless and dissatisfied on failing to have met those expectations which weren’t even our aspirations to begin with!

Hypnotically following what influential art throws our way, we take no time to eagerly and readily plant illusory dreams to our eyes which when practiced in real life all seem stilted, artificial and non –rewarding!

Whether it’s a matter of illogical expenditure on weddings, functions, dresses, all in all tailored to display grandeur to an insignificant lot, or staying behind ugly masks of pompous demeanor, we are going against our natural self cloaking self imposed insecurities.

 Professions are adopted just on the preference of their standing in society irrespective of the pressure it loads on an individual or the lack of interest/IQ towards an enforced subject! Disapproval is shown if a contrary opinion is voiced. Since when was plurality of opinion misinterpreted as disobedience?

For whom are we so willingly going against our intrinsic individuality? Instead of owning to what truly makes us unique, we let fear dictate our distinctive self, distorting it all to copy approved mediocrity!

At the risk of being declared an outcast, a misfit the only guard to truly staying focused, content and to at ease is to guard oneself with an impenetrable cloak of indifference.

What are your views to this?  Express your viewpoint freely. No judgment!

Shame on you not me

I was sexually abused at the age of 8. I write about this because the matter was brushed under the carpet for fear that it would go against me. I feel no shame in what happened as it was not my fault. The abuser, although a criminal went unpunished and I was asked to hush up. Can I be given a logical reason why shame is reserved for the abused and not the person who actually commits a crime?

Young boys/girls, men/women who get sexually abused are very prominently flashed across our TV sets and newspapers. Where are the culprits? Should they not be brought into attention who disgraced themselves by committing heinous crimes? When a man or a woman is raped, they are not the ones who are stripped off any dignity; it is the criminal who should be dishonored and humiliated .

How are the abusers being punished? Are they sentenced? Are they publicly denounced? Are their effigies being burnt with the same hatred as those corrupt political leaders?

Girls and boys as young as 4 years old are raped brutally and disposed off. How many times are the criminals denounced in print/TV or public?

As long as the indignity will be reserved for the victim, no abuser can be accounted for. There is no dishonor for a victim and they should not suffer any humiliation for an act they did not commit.

Some of my friends, boys and girls alike went through sexual abuse/incest at some point in their lives. Some young children out there are still suffering from such crimes and being scarred for life. Why they continue to get abused is because we reserve the blame for the victim and not the abuser.

 I say bring out the eunuchs, beat out the drums and place them at a public forum where they can be told shame on you for what you did!

Delicacies around the world

The world comprises of such variety in food that it takes a lifetime to discover. The diverse culture existing today offers a variety of cuisines and unique delicacies which are alien to other parts of the world. Let us see what some of these delights are.

Scorpions in China

Scorpions in China are a crunchy street snack. For those who worry about the poison in them are told that once they are thrown alive in the boiling oil, all the poisonous toxins are neutralized. It was known to be one of the tourists’ most popular snacks at the 2008 Olympics.

Spiders in Cambodia or Tarantula

Arachnophobia is clearly non-existent in Cambodia, as the spiders are sought after and considered a delicacy eaten as a whole fried eight legged treat. If there is a new fear that should develop, let us reserve it for the spiders.

Balut in Philippines

A fertilized chicken or a duck egg is considered another Asian delicacy where a partially developed embryo is consumed. It is boiled and sucked out of the shell where the contents inside are considered to be an aphrodisiac.

Live sea food:

Many consider it rude food but live octopus is served when they are slowly steamed and boiled while still retaining semi-consciousness while placed on a platter. Some sea food restaurants also serve live lobsters as well.

Snake

Snake parts are considered a delicacy in China and other Asian countries, where they are also eaten raw. Snake blood is also gathered and mixed with bile which is supposedly a powerful aphrodisiac which also carries cures for sexual deficiencies. As far as the venom is concerned, it is collected separately in its head and taken out making the blood free of any harmful toxins. Puffer fish : Considered a dangerous meal as the funny looking sea fish contains high levels of tetrodotoxin, a powerful poison that paralyzes the muscles. People die yearly with fugu poisoning as there is no cure for such a strong toxin that is mainly present in the liver, ovaries and skin. Licensed chefs are allowed to cook this meal, but despite the threat fugu remains popular as ever.

Kopi luwak : Okay this one was an absolute head dizzying unique delicacy. Also known as weasel coffee, the name comes from the fact that these world’s most expensive , low production coffee variety is processed from the digestive system of an Asian Palm Civet that is a cet sized animal native to Southeast Asia.

These coffee berries are harvested from the feces of this animal and are crudely washed and lightly toasted to give this unique and most sought after flavor of coffee.

 Knowing such varieties of flavors exist how open and experimental would you be to try something new for a change?

Dealing With Difficult People

Difficult people are everywhere. They may take the shape of your parents, bosses, partners, children, relatives or your extremely troubling drivers. They exist and are everywhere.

How do you deal with difficult people? The ones which don’t listen, blow away their temper at the drop of a hat and are too stuck up to their opinions. The simple answer to deal with people is to be solution oriented. One cannot always prove they are right, sometimes to win in an argument may invite more trouble, to lose your temper over some body’s lack of consideration or carelessness may also be futile, however what always works like a charm is to stay collected and keep a cool head over one’s shoulders.

Certain situations need a paradigm shift and may require one to view things from a missed perspective. A staunch belief over a concept or an idea that is untrue or detrimental may require more work but with a patient perseverance sometimes gradual changes do show and are more promising that expecting an overnight miracle through a forced and exaggerated reaction.

It is a misconception when people tend to generally give up and say “Ah! It’s hopeless I give up, they are never going to understand me” which is a statement most of us must have exclaimed at one point or the other, quite often so that is an way out and may fuel more animosity than to patch up a relation.

How many times have we ourselves made up our minds about people and often forget to consider that maybe the matter of dispute maybe with us, or it may be with certain patterns we follow that may cause a conflict from our dealing parties at hand? We rarely give people a chance are too quick to decide and react far too early than we should.

One of my favorite ways to deal with difficult acquaintances who wouldn’t matter much with their presence or absence is to not conveniently disregard their negativity. As in my opinion losing temper keeps adding a new bar to another dangerous level. Not to forget a useless outlet for energy to drain.

Another important thing to note is that there exists a freedom of speech for everyone and not everything demands your time or energy. People will talk negative, go out of their way to be offensive but all in all what they say is entirely their opinion and they are entitled to it. Losing your temper on useless matters and over reacting to frivolous issues is actually harming your own self.

I had heard in a film where Denzel Washington once quoted “The loudest in the room is the weakest of them all”

Something to think about..